Not the BBC comedy sitcom and definitely not a self-imposed challenge like 'Not Buying More Dresses' post a couple of months back following a closet clean out, and which I have observed more in the letter than the spirit of the challenge, having acquired several more pairs of jeans/jeggings and all-in-one jumpsuit [something Sue Richmond gleefully described as my Space Command Deck outfit - though in my defence I did have a serious crush on Gabrielle Drake in UFO in my teens, and almost certainly coveted that famous purple bob wig and silver lurex catsuit as well.]
It's more that I can't remember the last time I managed to get outside the house as Susie. The blog roll reminds me that this was in February, the last time I had a couple of days to myself, but nowhere more adventurous than an aborted walk to the local nature reserve (which turned out to be far too muddy to attempt) and one of the local parks. Between work, various hurts, illnesses or ailments (both of us, at different times), and the vagaries of the weather (either wet and rainy or far too hot and muggy) there haven't been any opportunities for any extended time on my own as Susie.
I've not been completely stuck in bloke mode since February though. I've been taking advantage of non-work Friday mornings and occasional work-from-home Thursdays when I don't have a series of meetings to dress when L goes out for a few hours in the morning, mindful that I have to be changed back and everything tidied away when she is due to return home around lunchtime. I don't know if L knows, or guesses, how I spend that 'me' time when she's out - it's not something we can discuss - but she will often phone to warn me if she expects to be back earlier or later then normal.
While a couple of hours doesn't justify a proper makeover, and is also something of a waste of makeup if you have to scrub it all off again shortly after, a minimal swipe with an eyebrow pencil, liner and lip outliner has to suffice to stop me feeling trapped in bloke mode all the time. Nails, of course, are out of the question.
It's something I've come to refer to as 'microdosing'. Short periods where I can be my preferred self and release the pressure - or more accurately a feeling of restless - that arises when I've been stuck in bloke mode for too long.
The danger is that is this becomes the new normal, and the opportunities and luxury of having two or three days to myself when L goes away on a trip might become a thing of the past. Neither of us are getting younger and each mornings is an adventure at discovering new ways in which different parts of the body can throw unexpected twinges and aches. One of which sent me to a doctor for the first time in years when I developed a low level but intermittently persistent ache across my chest. A nice lady doctor gave me an all clear after massaging my breasts - which was not anywhere near as erotic as it sounds - but the ache and tenderness is still there. On the upside, after a lifetime of being flat as an ironing board I seem to developed A cup tits a 12 year old girl might be proud of. Curious, though not unpleasing.
Now, now, it's a HYPERspace Command Deck outfit, not just boring old ordinary Space.
ReplyDelete"UFO" was set in 1980 but I don't recall any funky silver lurex outfits around the place when 1980 finally came. Most disappointing! Purple hair was a thing, though.
That's a nice dress in the picture. I suspect your wife isn't daft ... all those frocks in the house that aren't hers + husband left alone = ???. No wonder she rings in!
Lynn and I have chatted a bit about the need to release the pressure valve with regular dress time. I hope regular dress time continues for you.
Sue x
We are already hyper here most of the time :-)
ReplyDeleteAlas, I am the wrong vintage for UFO, but I have seen enough on the internets to 'get' why it's a thing. On that note, love that dress in the photo.
ReplyDeleteSorry that you're struggling to find the time and the opportunity to let youself fully be, I can relate, and can only really send understanding, if entirely metaphysical, hugs. Nevertheless, it is good to read an entry from you again.
Though it took me a long while to realise that Gabrielle was singer/ songwriter Nick Drake's sister.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joanna. Take care of yourself too. Hugs back. xx
UFO seemed to pop up on Saturdays on ITV, I think. It seemed one of those shows where I never caught the beginning or key episodes; so it seemed somewhat confusing. That and the mixing in of space craft in a Thunderbirds stylee.
ReplyDeleteI think it was Russell T Davis who said that whatever sci-fi you write, it will date. I guess how can it not? Certain production techniques, language, and even modern-ish looks creep into period/far future looks. Just take a look at 80s big hair or 90s micro eyebrows.
With you on the idea of micro dosing as a teen. It sort of ticks the box, inasmuch as a cover & biscuit keeps you going until lunch. I hope you get some more time soon. As Sue alludes to, it can build the pressure.
Oh, nails: maybe some KISS stick ones from Boots? If you're careful with them, they can last a number of wears.
Don't know KISS. I assume removable/possibly reusable stick-on nails? I'll keep an eye out.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. All sci -fi is more about the concerns of the date it was written than the date it's supposedly set in, from Frankenstein onwards. (It would make an interesting doctoral thesis about changing cultural fears over the couple of centuries.)
I'll look forward to your review... of the nails and the thesis 😉
DeleteYes, KISS are a brand you can get in most big chemists. The pre glued ones are a good size and will survive a few wears if you're careful/lucky.
Reading your post resonates with me, because I am definitely microdosing with my dressing at the moment. It does help with alleviating the tension and restlessness, but it isn't as good as a proper dressing session.
ReplyDeleteI loved UFO and Gabrielle Drake. She was definitely a big influence on the young developing Tgirl I was. Like yourself I didn’t realise she was Nick Drake's sister until I saw her talking about him on a documentary about 20 years ago.
Dee xx
Thanks Dee. I'm hoping that I might get longer than two or three hours at some point. Whether it'll be long enough to chance venturing out is another matter.
ReplyDelete