No, not me. That really would put the cap
on this relationship. At this late stage I have too much invested in my male
side, and there’s too wide a gulf between the fantasy of being Susie and the
reality of what it would cost and mean to be her all the time. Although as
retirement looms closer, I am concerned that with all that free time, I will
want to be her more often that I can, and that will start to cause problems.
I’m talking about the blog. So far I’ve
been using it to talking about the problems (and lets face it, the satisfaction
and thrill) of wanting to be Susie whenever I have the opportunity. I have wondered
if I should actually hand this over to Susie and let this be her blog. (She is
currently sitting at the keyboard typing about herself in the third person.
That’s weird, and does raise the question of how far Susie is a separate personality from me
or just a mask I put on to allow a largely repressed side of me - more colourful and clothes-conscious, more
daring, younger - find an expression.
