Search This Blog

Monday, 17 January 2022


 Saturday was the first time I had an opportunity for Susie time since (counts on fingers) probably the end of last September.

Unfortunately it was a all little bit... meh.

To be fair, it was a something of a last minute opportunity when L checked the weekend weather report and decided that she should chance having another day out on the Saturday. She was also getting a bit stir crazy not having a day out for herself since last year. 

But really, it turned out to be too cold, both outdoors and in, to really enjoy the time as Susie.

The first indication was when I stepped outside for a walk first thing in the morning. I knew it was likely to be cold, but a couple of yards up the road proved the pavements were a lot more icy and treacherous than I expected, despite  wearing a rather more sensible pair of thick soled hiking boots than my normal flats. That curtailed any plans to go for an extended walk in my usual nature reserve or canal path routes. The thought of taking a fall and not being able to get home easily, or worse being stranded while dressed en-femme was off-putting, to say the the least.

Luckily the main roads proved more tractable, so I had to settle for a briefer walk down to the village high street and a stop to get some cash out of the ATM. I had intended to drop into Tesco on the way back, but then discovered I'd forgotten to pack my normal mask and the only one I had with me completely fogged my glasses after two breaths, making it completely impossible to see where I was going. So scratch that as well.

Back home, since we only turn on the heating in the evening when we settle down to eat and watch TV, it was too cold indoors to do much more than stay bundled up in jeans and several layers of woollies and a coat and settle down to read or watch the snooker on TV. Practical but hardly pretty, and to be honest not that far away that it felt much different (apart from the more obvious bulge on my chest) from my normal male outfit of several layers of baggy sweaters for warmth. 

So, all in all a bit meh. It did make me wonder what I was doing, or whether it was even worth all the hassle of getting ready and then having to undo it all later on. 

I suspect Susie is more of a warm weather girl. Or Spring and Autumn at least, apart the height of mid summer, when, like the Wicked Witch of the West, her face is likely to melt and look like a sad panda painted by Salvador Dali or Francis Bacon.


  1. I know those feelings well. I feel for you too. The 'meh' can sometimes help when looking back from the vantage point of another opportunity to dress though. At least you still got out for a walk, however brief, and that's got to count for something!

  2. Worth it?. I hope so. I guess when the weather isn't quite right, that makes it more difficult.

    Last week I had opaques on, thermal leggings, and winter trousers on for a walk. I think it gets to the point where you lose track of the layers on 🙂

  3. Thanks both. I may have to put this down to 'just one of those days'. I may have to accept that Susie has a fairly narrow climate window.

  4. It's a shame when it doesn't quite work out. But the fact that you're no longer at the stage when any or every opportunity to go out as Susie is a good one suggests you've settled into your life as a trans woman.

    PS I hate the cold too!

    Sue x

  5. I get those Meh moments quite often during the Winter months too.

    Roll on Spring hey Susie.

    1. Boy or girl, I'll just be glad to see the back of the cold days.