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Wednesday, 15 September 2021

Like mother, like daughter?


At the risk of wearing it out, lets paraphrase Oscar Wilde once more.

"All women come to resemble their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his."

Or so it seemed until a few weeks ago. 

They say the camera never lies, and indeed in a lot of my photos it does have an unnerving habit of looking right through the painstakingly applied layers of make up and contouring to show the old me that I've spent an hour or more trying to hide under a layer of cosmetics.

That is until this photo, taken a few weeks back, where what I noticed with a slight shock was not only Susie as I hoped to see her, but also, rather unnervingly, my mother looking back out at me. 

Its something about the eyes and the set of the mouth, familiar from many family photos of around 20 years ago.

I'm really not sure how I should feel about this. Worried, or quietly pleased. On the whole I think I'm pleased. Plus I think this is also one of the better photos of Susie and being able to see an echo of my mother in it as well makes it kind of special.

(I've often wondered how much my  mother knew or suspected about my dressing from the time I was 10 to my late teens when I left for university. Not having any clothes of my own - I didn't start shopping for clothes until my mid twenties - I 'borrowed' a number of her outfits. And not matter how careful you think you may have been putting everything back in its place, there must have been tell-tale signs. Did she ever suspect she may have been had an eldest daughter as well as a son?)

The above photo was taken when I had a period three days to myself as Susie around the end of August, during which I managed to get out for several walks and even a few quick trips to the shops. (After spending  hours getting ready, I really didn't want to have to go though the whole change again just because I needed bread and milk.) 

I was anticipating the eventual comedown to set a few days later after L returned from her few days away and Susie had to disappear again. What I didn't expect was that both of us would come down with a cold that lasted the best part of two weeks and at least three boxes of tissues between us. 
Thankfully the cold has mostly gone now, just in time for another break where I have a couple of days to myself this week when I can let Susie out (and about) again. 


  1. I'm with you on the irksomeness of being able to see through our efforts to see our old selves. Still, it could be worse! 🙂

    Plus, seeing our parents' features in ourselves as we age, yes, that's something I've seen too. I guess we just have to make the best of the hand* we've been dealt.

    ( * No pun intended )

    PS: I think the photo of you in the park is really natural and you look great in it.

  2. Thanks Lynn.
    Stana has a recent post on the same subject where she comments this is true for her as well, and adds that daughters often tend to resemble their fathers and sons their mothers. I just wish it was true of hair as well, but sadly I seem to have been dealt my father's receding hairline after I turned 50.

  3. Susie,
    Thai is a wonderful feminine picture of you in your black and grey dress. I'm certain your mother would be proud of having such a fine looking daughter as you.

  4. To join the chorus: the two photos are brilliant. I especially like the one of you in the park because you look so at ease with yourself and your surrounds, it looks, well, like a snap of you being relaxed and at peace. I don't know you, but you did say the camera never lies.

    If we are destined to look like our parents I can't really complain. I have always assumed that I look more like my father (jaw-line, eyes, especially when frowning) and I am yet to see my mother in me - perhaps I just haven't taken the right photo yet. In the meantime, I can't discern any undertones in your photos - we are our own worst critics - and so it is with the confidence of a complete stranger on the internet that I can venture you look like the woman you so clearly are (ugh, basically, if you hadn't said, you would scan as 'woman' to me - that's even worse - I'm aiming for complimentary but hitting creepy instead).

    In short, yes, agreed and cool.


  5. Thank you. I will take that as the compliment you intended even if it did, as you say, come out a bit tangled at the end. I will certainly take being scanned as a woman when I am out as Susie, although sitting down doesn't give away that I'm unusually tall for a woman - something I am often quite conscious of. And the relaxed pose doesn't give away that the end of seesaw dropped suddenly when I sat on it a few moments before the camera went off :-)